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Browse published articles attributed to Oliver JR Cooper, with full-archive search.
Since the match betwee Portugal vs. Slovenia in the European football championship, a lot has been said about the emotion that Cristiano Ronaldo expressed after he missed a penalty. Some people have criticised him for crying after he missed a penalty, while others have been supportive.
After having been up with a number of men who were focused on their mothers and were not available, a woman can be angry and frustrated. But, as she will have given a lot and received very little, this is not a surprise. What may also play a part in this is that she could believe that she has wasted so much of her life trying to make men who are unavailable, available. So, at this point, she could be desperate for this area of her life to change. Totally Helpless
Even though someone is an interdependent human being who has needs, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. In general, they could act as though they are completely independent and don’t have any needs. However, this doesn’t mean that they will be consciously denying their true nature. Instead, they could simply be out of touch with a number of their needs, which will allow them to believe that they don’t need others. Deeply Repressed
Now that someone is an adult, they could typically ignore a number of their needs. But, if this is just what is normal, they might not be aware of this. If so, apart from their basic needs, most if not all of their other needs will seldom be met. To be specific, they can generally take care of their need to sleep, eat, and have the right clothing, for instance, but their need to be seen and heard, receive affection and relax, for instance, could generally be overlooked. Running on empty
Nowadays, if someone is having relationship problems, it is not going to be difficult for them to find information that goes into why this is and what they can do about it. After a basic search online, there will be thousands of videos and articles that will provide them with a lot of information. So, at this point in time, they could be in a position where they continually attract people that are not available and/or don’t treat them very well. This could be something that they have experienced for quite some time. One Part
When it comes to how someone behaves, it might generally be a reflection of their true self. Then again, it might generally be a reflection of their false self. If it is generally a reflection of their true self, it will mean that they will have a strong connection with their body. By having this connection, they will be in tune with their needs and feelings. Another Reality
As someone is a separate individual with their own needs and feelings, they are not always going to want to do what another person wants them to do. During these moments, they will need to make this clear. If this wasn’t the case, there would be no reason for them to say no to another person. However, although being able to say no is important, this might not be something that they feel comfortable with. No protection
For many, many years, someone may have spent a fair amount of their money on certain or several clothes brands. Assuming that it is one brand, this is then going to be a brand that they greatly value. Therefore, the money that they have spent over the years will be seen as an investment. So, not only can these items make them look good but they might have also allowed them to receive a fair amount of positive feedback. Two Stages
After feeling pretty exhausted and no longer having the energy to behave as they normally would, someone could think about how they find it hard to say no. What can be normal is for them to spend a lot of time doing things that they would rather not do. They are then going to be like an emergency service, with them typically being there for others when they are called to do so. However, although being this way will allow them to be there for others, it will also cause them to turn their back on themselves. Out of Balance
If someone were to take a step back and reflect on what often goes through their mind, they could come to the conclusion that they have a scarcity mindset. They could see that they often think about how there is not enough. This can relate to there not being enough money, opportunities, attention, love, and support, for instance. The other part of this is that this is likely to show that they live a life that is full of struggle and strain and they are often deprived. The Solution
Right now, a man could be with a woman who doesn’t treat him very well. So, what can be normal is for him to be put down, humiliated, ignored, rejected and there may even be times when he is hit. He might have been with her for a number of months or he might have been with her for a number of years. Either way, he is likely to be in a bad way and could be desperate for his life to change. Weighed Down
When a man sees a woman to who he is attracted, it might not typically occur to him that she is a human being who has her own needs, feelings, hopes, fears and insecurities, for instance. Instead, she can purely be seen as an object that can satisfy his sexual needs. There is the chance that, when it comes to a woman, these are the only needs that he has. If so, he is not going to have the need to experience affection or to share his inner world with a woman. An Identity
From the outside, someone can appear to be doing fine or at the very least, not in a bad way mentally and emotionally. But, beyond the impression that they typically create around others, can be someone who is not in a good way. Consequently, it won’t be possible for them to receive the support that they need at this stage of their life. Now, what this could also show is that they don’t have any close friends or family members. Hidden
What someone can find is that they have trouble knowing how they feel and what their needs are. They might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. After this, they could think about how being this way makes it hard for them to know what to do. But, as they will have trouble accessing the information that is inside them, this is to be expected. Inner Guidance
Although someone is a separate human being with their own needs, feelings and life to lead, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. Instead, they can feel like they are simply an extension of others. Due to this, they are not going to have the sense that they own themselves, they will feel as though other people do. This then means that they won’t be in control of themselves; other people will be in control of them. The outcome
In the same way that someone can more or less always wear the same outfit, they can also more or less always behave in the same way. And, as part of how they behave, they can also typically wear the same type of clothes. They are then going to be a whole human being that has many different sides, but, based on how they usually behave, this won’t be clear. Naturally, this is going to restrict them and limit their ability to freely express themselves. For Example
When a man is around a woman, he could typically lose himself. In other words, he won’t be in touch with and express his true self; no, he will end up putting on an act. As a result of this, he can be easy-going, needless and have a strong need to please. By being this way, it is likely to be normal for him to be walked over, deprived and to do things he would rather not do. A Bleak Existence
When a man meets a woman, it might not be long until he develops a view of her. After this, he can believe that the view that he has formed of her is a reflection of what she is like. However, although this can be the case, what if what is going on for him has had an effect on how he perceived the woman? Not only this, but what if how he perceived her had an effect on how he behaved and this had an impact on how the woman came across? An Observer
If a man were to take a step back and reflect on his life, he could see that he is too focused on his mother's needs and is ignoring a number of his own. He might soon find that this is how he has been for as long as he can remember. For whatever reason, he will have started to see clearly and this will give him the chance to change his life. After a while, he could wonder why it wasn’t possible for him to see this before. Blocked out
If someone is struggling mentally and emotionally, they can end up looking for a therapist to work with. They might have been in a bad way for a little while or this might be an experience that is relatively new. If this is not something that they have just started to experience, it is good that they have taken the next step. Suffering in silence won’t have served them; it will have only made things worse. The next step
If someone were to come to see that their early years were anything but nurturing, they could feel the need to talk to their parent or parents about what happened. They can hope that this will be a time when what they say is validated and empathy and remorse are expressed. Now, assuming that they were to speak to one of their parents, this can be a time when what they say is validated. This parent can also express empathy and be deeply sorry for what happened. The Ideal Scenario
Although someone can want to experience intimacy, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to experience it. So, they might have spent a fair amount of time on their appearance and spent time socialising but not been able to make much progress. This could be something that has been going on for a number of years, which will have had a negative impact on their wellbeing. But, as they will have the need to connect deeply to other human beings and not be able to fulfil this need, this is to be expected. Two Sides
If the average person was asked to share their opinion in regards to why the world is the way that it is, they might say that it’s because of the people that are in power. Therefore, if these people were dealt with in one way or another, the world would be different. This can be someone who pays attention to the mainstream media or the alte ative media. The reason why it could be one or the other is that both of these sources generally blame those at the top, so to speak, for what is going on in the world. The Same View
A little while ago, there were lockdowns in place that prevented millions of people from being able to carry on as normal. The main purpose of these lockdowns was said to have been to try to stop the virus from spreading. Since then, there has been a war betwee Russia and Ukraine. And, to go back even further, there were numerous terrorist attacks that took place around the world that were given a lot of exposure by the media. Other Events
What might soon stand out, if someone were to step back and reflect, is that they have the tendency to end up with people who are not right for them. This could be something that has happened so often that they question if they want to be with another person. But, as fed up as they can be, what this will have done is allow them to stop what they are doing and to take a closer look at what is going on. By doing this, it can allow them to gradually change this area of their life. Jumping In
Even though someone is not a superhero who is unable to be affected by life, they can come across as though this is the case. As a result of this, it can be as though they are unaffected by life. They are then not going to have moments when they come across as hurt, sad or down, for instance. Still, this is not to say that they will consciously do what they can to create the impression that very little if anything bothers them. The Norm
If someone was to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they often feel angry and even enraged. At times, due to how worked up they become, they could lose the ability to think clearly and do things that they later regret. This could be how they have been for as long as they can remember, or they might have only been this way for a short while. If they have only just started to experience life in this way, it may mean that they often felt low and perhaps depressed before. The Other Side
As someone is a separate individual, with their own needs and feelings, it is not going to be possible for them to always say yes and to do what another person wants or suggests. If they were merely an extension of others, this wouldn’t be the case. However, while they will need to say no at times and not go along with something, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable asserting themselves. In fact, it might not even occur to them that they can assert themselves. The Norm
It could be said that it is part of the human experience to want to not only be loved but to also love. But, although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that someone will be in touch with both of these needs. If they aren’t, these needs will be repressed and will, therefore, be outside of their conscious awareness. Even so, these needs are unlikely to lie dormant and not have an impact on their life. The First Need
Most likely, someone will live in a society that is built on the view that they, along with their fellow citizens, are passive observers of what takes place exte ally. What is going on inside them, then, won’t influence what is going on outside them. Thus, unlike the few that have power, there will be part of the many that don’t. Those who have power will be those at the top, so to speak, who make the decisions and are in control of what does and doesn’t happen. Another part
In general, someone could spend a lot of time in doing mode, meaning that they will rarely if ever just be. And, if they were to take a step back and relax, they could soon end up feeling tense and agitated. Thus, even if they were told that they need to slow down by a friend or a family member, for instance, this is not going to have much of an impact on them. Being on the go and doing things will be far less stressful than it will be for them to relax. Taken out
For some people, Fathers Day is a day when they will show their gratitude to their father for all the things that he did for them when they were a child and continues to do for them now that they are adults. When someone is in this position, this is then going to be a day of celebration and thus, they will be looking forward to it. Due to this, they can spend a fair amount of time thinking about how they will show their appreciation to their father on this day. So, they may decide to take him out for a meal and buy him something that he will find useful. Back in Time
Although someone can be used to being physically seen by others, it doesn’t mean that they will feel seen. In general, they can feel as though they are not seen and even question if they exist. It could seem strange as to how they could be seen by others and at the same time, not feel seen. What this illustrates is that being physically seen is one thing; it is another thing altogether to feel seen. The Difference
If someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what might soon stand out is that their life is not very fulfilling. So, just about every area of it might not be going how they would like it to go. Now, this might be something that has been at the back of their mind for quite some time but they might not have really thought about it. However, although their life won’t be going how they would like it to go, they might not believe that they can do anything about it. A Waste of time
If a man is in a position where he has the tendency to do what his mother wants and neglects a number of his own needs, it could be said that he needs to assert himself. However, although this is what he will need to do, it doesn’t mean that this will take place. Firstly, he might not be consciously aware of the fact that he is abandoning himself and, second, even if he is aware of what is going on, he might not do anything about it. It might seem strange why he wouldn’t be consciously aware of what is going on but, behaving in this way can just be what is normal. Another Element
At the beginning of a relationship, a man might not have any issues when it comes to having sex. But, as time passes, this might not be the case. Then again, before he gets to the point where he is in a relationship with a woman and has just started seeing her, this could be something that is an issue. Naturally, this is going to have a big impact on this area of his life. A Different Experience
Even though someone was mistreated during their formative years, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to acknowledge this. This can mean that they won’t talk about what happened or they could often talk about some of the things that happened. But, if they do talk about some of the things that happened, they could talk about it in a very matter-of-fact way. Along with this, they could say that it was for their own good or words to that effect. A Strange Scenario
If someone were to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they have been in a number of relationships with people who were narcissistic. They may even see that there are a number of people in their life who are like this. When they think about what these people were like, what can soon come to mind is that they always needed to be the centre of attention, to be admired, were overly entitled, self-centred, and lacked empathy, for instance. Naturally, being in a relationship with someone like this would have had a big impact on them. Two Parts
What can be normal is for a man to experience ‘negative’ thoughts and to feel bad about himself. Thanks to this, he can spend a lot of time feeling low and depressed. Also, he might seldom take action and do what he can to achieve his goals. Taking this into account, he is unlikely to live a life that is very fulfilling. How Life is But, if this is just what is normal, it might not occur to him that there is another way for him to experience life. He can then continue to live a miserable life and his life is likely to get worse over time.
If a man is focused on and often does things for his mother, he is going to be like a caretaker. Along with what he does for her, he might create the impression that he is happy to be there for her. Based on how he behaves, it will be as though his sole purpose is to be there for his mother and that he doesn’t have any needs of his own. Or if he does, he only has a few basic needs. Stepping Back
If a man is in a position where his life revolves around his mother and he neglects himself, it will be clear that he needs to start implementing boundaries. This is the only way that he will be able to reclaim himself. Until this takes place, he will continue to turn his back on himself and a lot of his time and energy will be directed toward his mother. The trouble is that not only will he be neglecting himself, but, he might not be aware of this. Another Element
When a man is not working, he could often be doing things for his mother. It might not occur to her, either, that there are things that he needs to do and that he might be too busy to do something for her. Therefore, thanks to how caught up she is with her own needs, it will seldom if ever enter her mind that her son also has needs. It will then be as if he is simply an extension of her and his primary purpose is to be there for her. An Automatic Response
What someone may find, if they were to reflect on their life is that they have trouble letting people get close to them. This can mean that they will spend a fair amount of time by themselves. Then again, they could spend a fair amount of time around others but typically hide themselves when they are around them. Either way, living in this way is going to lead to a very lonely existence. Confusion
For quite some time now, someone might have suffered from depression. As a result of this, they can typically have a low mode, not be able to experience pleasure or be interested in doing a great deal. Due to this, days, weeks, months and even years might have passed by but they won’t have been able to make the most of this time. In general, it can be as though they are on the outside looking in. A Bleak Existence
What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they haven’t been able to get it together, so to speak. So, unlike their friends, they could often struggle for money and have a job that is anything but fulfilling. Additionally, they could often be in a dysfunctional relationship and need a friend or a family member to essentially rescue them. This can then involve another person helping them to leave and even giving them somewhere to live, for instance. Out of Balance
What can be normal is for someone to hide how they feel and a number of their needs. Consequently, when they are around others, they are going to typically put on an act and hide who they are. This can mean that they will generally come across as though they are fine and that nothing is bothering them. Along with this, they could largely be easy-going and happy to go along with what others want. A Mask
During someone’s early years, a time when they needed to be seen and heard in order to grow and develop in the right way, they might have largely been ignored. This would then have been a time when their basic needs might have typically been met but their emotional needs wouldn’t have. One or both of their parents might not have been able to accept that they were a separate human being who had feelings and a number of needs. Instead, they might have been seen as an object that was there to meet their needs. Unresponsive
What can be normal is for a man to hide how he feels and to make out that he is fine. It could go further than this, though, as he could typically be unaware of how he feels and not have a strong connection with his part of him. Assuming that this is the case, he will look like a whole human being, but he will seldom act like one. By being this way, he will be abandoning himself and it won’t be possible for him to receive the support that he needs. One Part
Over the years, a man may have been with a number of women who lacked warmth. Thanks to the experiences that he has had, he could believe that all women are the same. What this is likely to show is that his brain has taken the experiences that he had with however many women and attributed these to all women. It then won’t be that the women he has been with and some others are this way; no, it will be that all women are like it. Hard To See
After a woman has come to see that she is with a man who is overly focused on his mother, she could take the time to think about what she needs to do next. This may also involve her talking to a few of her friends about what is going on. Either way, before long, she could share her thoughts with the man that she is with and this could be a time when she is able to make headway. He could not only listen to what she has to say but make it clear that what she says is accurate. A Positive Sign