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Browse every published article connected to Curt Gorlick, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Curt Gorlick, or search within this exact expert archive.
You’ve heard it said that life is all about choices. Do you believe it? If it is true, why do so many people go through life choosing to live the way their feeling now? Why in the world would anyone choose to live life feeling miserable? It is a great question. If more people really thought about this question their life would be so different – different in great ways!
Are you finally at the point in your life when you’re ready for change? Do you really want to change or are you hoping other people and circumstances will change? If you’re hoping people and circumstances will change then you can stop reading this article now and be prepared to see yourself in the future as you are right now. If you are still reading this, you are more than likely ready, so read on. Are you more aware of who you are and what you want in life? Have you made up your mind not to live the rest of your life feeling the way you do now? Great! So now what?
Is it too much to ask you to slow down and stay in the moment? What does that even mean? Have you noticed during the day when things are going right and you’re feeling happy and all of a sudden something happens? You don’t know what happened; you only know that now you’re sad, and possibly angry and disappointed. When this happens the most common response is you go through the rest of the day feeling -- you guessed it! -- sad, angry and disappointed. You stay that way until something good happens and then the cycle repeats.
You might be thinking, what a ridiculous question! “Who else is — or could be — controlling my life if it isn’t me?” The truth is there are many possible answers to this question. Here’s a few: your spouse… your significant other… your parents… your siblings… your good friends… or…. I’m sure you can come up with many more answers tha I did, but here’s the simple yet powerful answer. Your life is controlled by whomever you give your power away to.
Let’s pretend someone asked, “Who are you tolerating?” Maybe you’ve been asked that question before; maybe you haven’t. Either way, think about it for a moment. Now, answer this question. What came up for you when you thought about it? This is the type of question that provokes other questions and thoughts. In addition to thinking of the type of people you’re tolerating, you might be thinking about who they are in your life. Then you think about what they do that bothers you and how it affects your life. The questions roll on and on.
I ask tough questions. “What do you really want in Life?” “What makes you happy?” “If you had it all over to do again, what would you do differently?” These questions sound easy, but for most people it’s a struggle to come up with an answer. There are different reasons why answering these questions doesn’t come easily. For one thing, people rarely take the time to be with the most important person in their life. Yet, we all have the same most important person. The most important person in your life should be YOU!
For many years I didn’t understand what it meant to live a life of fulfillment. I’ve come to learn many people have no idea what it means either. When I asked the questio “What does a life of fulfillment mean to you?” the most common response I get is “Living a life of fulfillment means living a life of happiness.” I don’t know about you, but for me I’ve never had a time in my life when I was happy every day, all the time. How about you? Can you image living everyday of your life being happy? Really? People would think you were living in your own world.
If you have finally had enough stress… overwhelm… over-compromise… anger and … disappointment in your life and… you’re ready to do something about it… CONGRATULATIONS! I remember back many years ago when I was a young boy my father would often say, “Talk’s cheap. Don’t be a talker, be a doer!” I’ll never forget those words.
“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” I bet you’ve heard that one. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. This very well known line from an old movie became so popular because millions of people related to it. They would internalize how mad they were yet rarely express it until they reached a bursting point. People were saying that line out loud for years after the movie stopped playing in theaters. I remember saying it myself. It sure did relieve some stress.
I’d like to introduce you to that little voice in your head. While these voices are called different things by different people, I choose to call them “The Saboteur.” The Saboteur is what keeps most people stuck from getting what they want in life. Maybe you have more than one. These little voices are in each and every one of us. You know the voices I’m talking about. Here are a few examples of what you may be hearing from them inside your head right now. “I’m not good enough for….” “I’m not smart enough to…” “I don’t deserve…” “I can’t find anyone who would want me.”
How many times have you heard “Life is a game?” Do YOU believe life is just a game? I do. Does my response surprise you? If so, keep the question hovering in your mind for a bit as I explain. I believe life is a mind game. Winning the mind game of life is all about perspectives and choices. Every issue in life can be viewed from many different perspectives and each perspective presents different choices.
When people live their lives on cruise control – as so many people do – it reminds me of a broken record. (I’m really showing my age here. This example wouldn’t work so well if I said on a CD or mp3.) These days it seems like people wake up in the morning, get dressed, and drive to work taking the same route. When they get there they do mostly the same work day after day. At the end of the day they revisit their to-do-list checking off what got done and transferring the items that didn’t get done to tomorrow’s to-do-list.
I was just talking with a new client of mine who was feeling angry with her husband. The anger came from a conversation that just didn't go the way it should. As I was asking questions to get to the root of the problem there was an "Ah-ha!" moment. The Ah-ha moment came when my client realized the only reason the conversation got out of hand was because she and her husband both assumed they knew what the other was thinking. "Why did you assume?" I asked. "Because I always do. Don't most people?" she replied.
This is the time of year when many people feel stressed and not wanting (needing) to be with family. All your bad feelings come up as you remember how past holidays went. Remember your thoughts just last year? "I'm never going to do that again!" "I can't believe those are my relatives" "Why was I so stupid to think they would change?" Past hurts rage as the memories spin around in your head.
Accountability is one of the most overlooked and undervalued pieces of the puzzle to achieving personal and business goals. Without accountability many things in your life would not be present. In fact, lack of accountability could be the biggest reason why you don’t currently have what you want in life. When you choose the wrong person to be accountable to it is counter-productive and a waste of precious time and money. Here are some examples of choosing the wrong person to keep you accountable. 1. Someone who is toxic to you. 2. Someone you do not admire or look up to.r
Do you know some of the reasons why you might not be getting what you want? I'm not just talking about material things. You may want a better relationship with your spouse, significant other, maybe your kids, your parents, or some of your friends. You may even want to have a better relationship with yourself so you can do some of the things you put on hold for a later date. How about better relationships with the people at your job or possibly to grow your business?
Becoming Aware! I talk with a lot of people who say they are tired of living the way they’re feeling now. I often ask, “What are you feeling now?” The some common answers I get are: • “I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling. I just know I’m frustrated and disappointed with the people in my life.” • “I’m very angry because I go out of my way to help my siblings and friends and they don’t appreciate me.” • “I’m feeling more alone married now than when I was single.” Next I ask, “How long have you been feeling like that?”
Just a few short weeks ago you and millions of others Declared, Promised and made New Year's Resolutions. Are you still on track to achieve what you said you wanted? If you're like most people you made your resolutions without a plan and without knowing how to get them or who to talk with to help you. What makes 2011 different than all the others years in regard to getting what you want? What are you going to do differently? Ok, ok, I know. One of your resolutions might be to have better relationships with the people you say you love and want to be with.