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Browse every published article connected to Susie and Otto Collins, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Susie and Otto Collins, or search within this exact expert archive.
When you think of passion and intimacy, an image of love-making whenever and wherever the mood strikes you and your partner might come to mind. Perhaps you and your love experience this often. Or maybe you used to have spontaneous red hot moments before you settled into a life together ...
It's been a turbulent couple of years for Selena and Robbie. After living together for over 5 years, Selena was shocked and outraged to learn that Robbie was having an affair with another woman who also lives in their apartment building. She was so upset about this, she packed up her things and moved in with her sister. During that time apart, Selena broke up with Robbie. She couldn't see a way to forgive him for cheating even though he told her how sorry he was and that he'd end the affair immediately.
Jake was a party guy in college. He stayed up late, was the life of every social event he attended and was never without a date. In fact, Jake had a lot of dates and sexual partners during this wilder time in his life. Now, 5 years later, Jake has settled down a bit. He still lives life to the fullest, but he doesn't party the way that he used to-- and he's glad about that.
If you have kids at home, it's highly likely that you and your mate have to schedule in and make plans for special time for you two to be alone. This may vary depending on your lifestyle and the ages of your kids. It's quite possible that at a certain point in your lives, you and your partner ...
Lindsay feels as if she's trapped in a nightmare. She was well aware that her marriage to Sam has been rocky over the past year or two, but she always believed that the two of them would eventually work out their problems. She was completely unprepared when Sam came home from work a few evenings ago and announced that he is filing for divorce. When Lindsay heard Sam's words and watched him begin to immediately start packing up his clothes, she cried, she yelled, she tried to reason with him and she even begged him not to leave.
Did you know that the beliefs you hold about marriage can significantly impact the relationship you have with your spouse? You may chock up your beliefs to merely 'thoughts,' but they actually can mean the difference between you having the relationship you want and feeling dissatisfied or ...
In many cases, immediately after going through a divorce, a person is not too interested in getting into a relationship with someone new. Hurt feelings, sadness, grief, even anger are quite common. These emotions need to be dealt with and moved through before the person can truly open up to ...
When you are in pain because of something that's happened in your love relationship or marriage, it can seem like there's nothing else in your life but the hurt and upset way you feel. You may have discovered that your partner lied to or cheated on you. Or perhaps you and your mate can't seem to get along and your relationship is riddled with conflict most of the time. It could also be that you feel unappreciated, neglected or unloved. No matter what has happened, the pain that you are feeling can be intense at times.
Flirting between two people can be fun, sexy and harmless...unless, of course, one of those two people is already in a committed relationship with someone else! When you are the one who watches (or hears about) your partner flirting with another person, it can be emotionally painful and it can also bring up a lot of questions, doubts and suspicions within you. For example, you might wonder, “Why doesn't she flirt with ME like that? I am her boyfriend after all!”
There are many books, dvds, articles, lectures, courses and more about the Law of Attraction. You can learn how to use the Law of Attraction (LOA) to create more wealth, better health, a new car, a great job and, yes, a passionate love relationship or marriage. But here's the big question... Once you are in a love relationship or marriage, can you also use the Law of Attraction to get rid of all of those irritations, annoyances and harmful habits that drive you further and further apart from your love? Our answer, unfortunately, is “No.”
We've all seen cartoons in which a character shapes snow into a ball, perhaps to build a snowman. As the ball of snow is rolled, it grows bigger and bigger. Pretty soon that snowball is quite large and here comes a slope or hill... The next thing we see are the arms and legs of our beloved mouse, dog or other cartoon character sticking out from this gigantic snowball that is quickly rolling down the hill, continuing to grow and knock out anything in its way. Giant out-of-control snowballs are funny in cartoons, but there's nothing funny when jealousy snowballs in your relationship.
If your partner had an affair, you might be trying to figure out how this happened. Whether you are still in this relationship or not, your heart might feel broken into a million pieces. Unfortunately, some of the beliefs that you may hold about infidelity could be making your broken heart pain worse than it already is. There are many misconceptions about why people cheat.
We read about it all of the time. Wealthy men in positions of power who cheat on their wives. Some of them have multiple affairs. Even if you aren't married to a man who is rich and powerful, you might be conce ed that someday the corrupting influence of power-- or an aspiration for power-- will lead your man astray. When you hear about a man like Tiger Woods, who is married to a gorgeous model, reportedly cheating with 9 or more women, you can't help but ask yourself, “Why?” Why would a man who seems to have it all, break his relationship agreements?
Have you ever been to your favorite restaurant, ordered your favorite food and then thoroughly enjoyed eating it? We hope so! If you haven’t had such an experience, imagine what it might be like. Remember how the texture, taste and smell of this wonderful food delighted you as you ...
Habits. We've all got them. Some of our habitual ways are beneficial and others can limit or even harm us. Couples can also fall into habits or tendencies in their relationship. It might be the assumptions you each tend to make about one another. It could be the habitual ways you two usually ...
When it seems that your relationship or marriage is headed for a breakup, is there anything you can do to prevent it? Yes, there are certainly steps you can take to turn your relationship around, rebuild trust, improve communication and create agreements that will help bring you and your partner closer together again. However, when your partner says that he or she is ready to end your marriage or love relationship, it can be more difficult to head off a breakup. After all, you simply cannot force another person to be in a relationship with you if he or she is ready to move on!
Whether you’ve been in your relationship for 2 months, 2 years or 20 years, we don’t have to tell you that making the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. We’ve both also made this decision ourselves in our ...
Rebound relationships: We've all seen them and many of us have had them. These are relationships that are entered into a short period of time after one (or both) person has been through a breakup, separation or divorce. A rebound relationship can look like any other love relationship. The big difference is that the person who is on the “rebound” may still be in a raw emotional place from the relationship experience he or she just got out of. For the most part, rebound relationships have been painted in a negative light.
Does it seem to you that you're always the one in your relationship being flexible, giving and self-sacrificing? If it does, you're not alone. Many men feel like they bear the brunt of the work. They keep the yard mowed, go to work everyday, change the oil in the car, watch the kids and are expected to be ready with cards, flowers and romance at the drop of a hat. Many women feel as if the bulk of the load is dropped on their shoulders.
“I want to quit my job and go back to school.” “I would like us to work with a relationship coach.” “I think we need to make some decisions about our child.” “I want to spend more intimate time with just you.” It's not always easy to speak what you want or how you see a situation in your ...
“There are no good men left in the world!” At least this is how it feels to Liz. She has met and dated many men, but none of them are what she's looking for. Liz has had horrible experiences with men. She's dated guys who were disrespectful, guys who took her for granted and guys who lied and cheated on her. It seems like all of the quality men are already in committed relationships and that Liz is destined to be alone-- or with a man who is not what she truly wants.
Have you ever had a complete meltdown over something that wouldn’t usually upset you and wondered where that came from? As we move along through our lives, we are sometimes caught unaware by stirred up feelings we didn’t realize were getting stirred up! We are sometimes just as ...
Selena and Trey have decided to give their marriage a second chance. After finding out that Trey cheated, Selena was ready to pack up her belongings and leave. She spent a week with her mother and decided that she isn't willing to file for divorce just yet. When Selena returned home, she set down some strict ground rules with Trey. He would need to prove to her-- without a doubt-- that he truly broke off the affair. He would need to make his entire life accessible and open to her.
Do you ever feel like you’re pouring out your heart to a blank stare? When you try to communicate with your love, does it sometimes seem like you're just not speaking the same language? He or she may be trying really hard to figure out what you are talking about, but just can’t ...
It’s that time of year again. You see folks clearing out their garages, basements and attics preparing for yard sales or trips to thrift stores to donate all of those unwanted items. Yes, it’s spring cleaning season. If you’ve ever engaged in this annual tradition of sorts, ...
Have you ever been so angry that everywhere you look you see what’s made you so upset? You can just about feel that steam rushing from your ears as cartoon images depict. It doesn’t matter what’s going on around you or what another person is trying to tell you, once you get ...
Janet can't believe how far apart she and her husband Mark have grown. To Janet, her husband seems nothing like the man that she married almost 20 years ago. That man wouldn't have had an affair. To be fair, she has changed as well. When Janet looks at the way she sometimes acts when she's around Mark, she recognizes that she's not even close to the person she was when they first fell in love. Wishing that she could somehow turn back time, Janet wonders how she and Mark might have prevented the infidelity, the distance and the pain.
No matter how long you and your partner have been together, it doesn't take long for the two of you to become disconnected. Between work and family demands on your time and energy, staying close to your mate can easily get lost in the shuffle. And from a place of disconnection, miscommunication, confusion, resentment and conflict can develop and build. At some point, you might look at your love relationship or marriage and wonder why you two are still together? It can feel like you and your mate are merely “roommates” with little or no passion happening between you.
Breaking up just about always creates big changes in the lives of people and moving on can be fairly hard. A person might be stalled for a long time and it may be very difficult to handle common activities. whether or not your relationship break up has happened it has been years or yesterday, ...
Does it ever feel like it's you against your mate? Perhaps this occurs some of the time or most of the time in your love relationship or marriage. It could seem like you are constantly in a struggle with one another-- whether it's about finances, the kids, your home, intimacy or other issues. Feeling at odds with your partner, even part of the time, can drive a wedge between the two of you. Your connection and trust itself can be undermined when there is no sense of teamwork in your relationship. You might have very good reasons to not feel like a team with your mate.
If trust in your love relationship feels weakened, broken or completely lacking, perhaps you have made an intention to rebuild it. This can be especially so if there has been infidelity. You may not know exactly how to go about healing your relationship and moving closer to your partner, but ...
Have you had it with being single and alone? Are you tired of romantic encounters that either lead nowhere or lead you places you don't want to go? Are you ready to share your life and love with the mate of your dreams? If you answered “yes,” to any of these questions then you ...
It’s all about you. If you’re like most people, that’s probably not a sentence you feel comfortable reading! On one hand, you were probably told by someone as you were growing up that “the world doesn’t revolve around you” or something to that effect. In ...
A breakup can be excruciating to go through. The end of your relationship can evoke feelings of loss, grief, sadness and anger. In these moments of pain, it might seem that you will never be as happy again. You may wonder if you'll ever have another love like this. Patti feels this way. Since her breakup with John, she's been unable to sleep well, she cries easily and often and she can't remember the last time that she laughed. She misses John even though she understands why they had to end their relationship.
Ah, the back rub. In your love relationship, a back rub can be a welcome tension reliever at the end of a long stressful day. It can also be a prelude to lovemaking or other intimate connecting. But, unfortunately, a back rub can also backfire and end up causing pain, discomfort or even ...
When you find out your partner had an affair, it can seem as if the world stopped and you are frozen in the feelings of pain and hurt in the aftermath of betrayal. As the reality settles in, you might be confused and conflicted about whether or not to take back your mate. You might be ...
Have you ever traced your genealogical roots? Perhaps you've conducted searches about your ancestors using the internet or a library's database. It can be fun and quite interesting to find out if your long ago relatives fought in wars, traveled to distant lands with their belongings in a ...
When you live and love together, that pesky “M” word can become quite the wedge between you and your mate. The romance and intimacy are great but then along comes a question or decision to make and you two feel like you’ve hit a big brick wall. We’re talking about money ...
Ellen feels sick to her stomach. She and her husband, Jim, had a really difficult weekend. Out of town guests were staying with them and, on top of this, it came to light that Ellen has been lying to Jim about how precarious her job.
Janelle is having a difficult time knowing what she can believe lately. She is well aware that her boyfriend, Paul, is a very social guy. He was popular in high school and college and now he is still a favorite among his co-workers. Paul stays in touch with a lot of people from his past and present life on the internet through social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. He and his friends will often recount wild parties of the “good old days” and more than one woman has posted fond memories of intimate times shared with Paul.
If your heart has been broken by infidelity or another kind of betrayal, you might be trying to cope with the double whammy of grief and shattered trust. These two often go hand in hand. It may even be that, since the breakup of your relationship or marriage, everywhere you look people seem to ...
A recent article in Psychology Today discusses the current state of marriage in the U.S. The author of the article asserts that couples in the U.S. today have too many choices-- and this is leading them to get divorced when the going gets rough. We don't get the sense that this Psychology Today article was advocating that nobody should get divorced or split up. Instead, the point seemed to be, that in the context of the relatively wealthy lives (compared with the rest of the world) that many Americans lead, marriage has become less of a necessity.
Is there an issue about which you and your partner can't seem to see eye-to-eye? Perhaps you two try to avoid talking about or even looking at the tough topic because, in the past, it has only seemed to cause tension and arguments. The trouble is, these sensitive and challenging issues aren't always ones that either of you can easily avoid. When you try to pretend, for example, that your partner's flirting isn't bothering you, his or her flirting only seems to be more frequent and blatant from your perspective.
Jeanette really wants to have a “normal” sex life with her husband Carl. The problem is her memories of being sexually abused as a child by a neighbor. It seems like whenever Carl touches her or talks to her in a sexually suggestive way, she freezes up. This has been a struggle for the two of them since they started dating and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Jeanette frequently forces herself to have sex with Carl and she does enjoy it to some extent. But, she is aware that she holds herself back from him and is not as passionate as she'd like to be.
“I’m sending out a message to myself so that when I hear it on the radio, I will know that I am fine. I will know that I am loved.” In an interview, Melissa Etheridge explains that she wrote these lyrics as an uplifting reminder to herself. We believe that the positive ...
Is it possible to be completely transparent in your relationship? In other words, how honest do you consistently need to be with your mate in order to enjoy strong and healthy trust? After all, aren't there times when telling the whole truth is simply unwise? These questions relate to the ...
If you never imagined that a goose could teach you about your personal growth, think again. Here's a bazaar, true story that our daughter told us about her co-worker A 's experience. Ann was training for a marathon, running on a bike path in a major city where she lives. As she was running, a ...
Do you ever feel like your jealousy takes over? It might seem to you that the stream of jealous thoughts you are having are never-ending and even unstoppable. They can appear to overwhelm and overpower you. As you might already know, you can easily end up saying or doing things that you may later regret when you are in a state of feeling overpowered by your jealousy. It's as if the jealousy is “making” you do and say these things. Angie sometimes feels as if her jealous thoughts take over.
Kim vacillates between raging anger and tears. She has lived with the suspicion that her husband was having an affair for almost a year and now she is sure. She has her proof and she wishes it was different. Confronting her husband about his affair-- that's still going on-- is not something that Kim wants to do. At the same time, she can't go on pretending that everything is okay in their marriage anymore. For months she has put on a smile and acted as if nothing has changed, mostly for the sake of their young children.
Most of us are pretty routine-oriented. We get up in the morning, brush teeth, eat breakfast and then head off to whatever form of work we engage in. Our days continue on in much the same way. Many of us also create time to connect in with our partner watching movies, having dinners out, and ...